Post by azurinevebbins on Jun 18, 2018 17:40:52 GMT
OOC: This is meant for a character from Rose City Wrestling, but since they don't have a Character Development Board...I'm placing the CD here. Collaborated with @thiccwbot to create this particular promotional material. Deputy Tacy MacKegger is a step-cousin of my character here "The Adorkable Angel" Azurine Vebbins. What unfolds is why Ms. MacKegger hasn't had any attributed tweets in about a week.
Tacy’s First Blind Date
A blonde-haired mesomorph clad in a black polo, black fingerless gloves, black slacks, and black combat boots marches towards an address she’s unfamiliar with. She, Deputy Tacy MacKegger, received a tip to meet a potential partner at this particular precinct. Wasn’t an actual police precinct. Wasn’t much of an actual building. Looked semi-abandoned but clearly maintained as to not cause random people to flee immediately. Sighing heavily and hoping her matchmaker Princess Sammy 3.0 didn’t steer her wrong, Tacy rings the doorbell while clutching a kendo stick with her non-shaking hand.
A woman of about thirty five years of age answers the door. Her hair is a deep auburn, her eyes green like jade. She’s dressed in a woman’s pants suit, black with grey pinstripes. Around her neck, a gold chain bearing the symbol of the Ace, highest card in a deck. She moves with grace, her actions bearing no hesitation. Indeed, this woman is a gambler. In fact, a top ranked poker player in the United States. She smells of oranges. Upon closer inspection, she has an orange in her left hand. The gambler rubs the orange upon her suit, causing even more of the auroma to cover her body.
Tacy seems drawn to this woman but isn’t exactly sure why. She confidently introduces herself extending her dominant hand forward.
Tacy MacKegger: Deputy Tacy MacKegger, ma’am. Are you da partner Sammy told me to meet tonight?
“Gambler”: Well, aren’t you just a treat? My name is Joanna, that’s it. Legally. They call me Gambler Joanna, since not having a last name makes it hard to distinguish from other gamblers.
Tacy MacKegger: Would you have any identification to verify dat, Joanna?
The woman laughs and opens the door wide. Right by the door, upon the wall, is a huge poster like you would see in a movie theatre. Upon the poster is Joanna. Her name is written on top of the poster in bold, white font. Gambler Joanna, just as she said. What’s most striking is what is printed on the bottom of the poster.
World Series of Poker Winner, 2017.
Gambler Joanna: I assume you have a cell phone? Google me.
Tacy MacKegger pulls out her Phoneme Whippersnapper and Googles “Gambler Joanna.” Sure enough various results pop up indicating a 35-year-old winner of last year’s WSOP went by that particular moniker. There’s even a photo of this particular woman seated and clutching her prize winnings.
Tacy MacKegger: Checks out.
Gambler Joanna: Did you see my trophy? It’s a nice trophy.
Joanna slowly backs into the doorway and gives Tacy an inviting gesture, an invitation to enter into her home. Inside it’s clear Joanna has made quite the living from gambling. Her home is pristine, the walls covered in framed posters of her career and various newspaper clippings. The furniture in the house is, surprisingly, real wood. Again, as Tacy explored, she would smell the fragrance of Oranges. Eventually Joanna leads Tacy into the living room. Within the living room, an unlit fireplace, an oak table with a deck of cards upon it, a leather couch, big screen TV, and even more posters and newspaper clippings. Joanna seems quite proud of her career.
Tacy MacKegger: Feels very much like back home. Not New Tazewell, Tennessee, but home in Phloriphornia. It’s a remote island nation in da middle of da Pacific Ocean dat primarily exported oranges, orange juice, bananas, and steel chairs.
Gambler Joanna: Must be the oranges. Did you notice them around the house? They’re my good luck charm. I keep one with me at all times. I believe that little boost of luck led me to my biggest win last year.
Tacy MacKegger: Da Vitamin C could have also vitalized certain bodily functions as well, but I’m happy you believe in luck. I myself am not dat lucky.
Joanna would motion to the couch, suggesting the two take a seat. MacKegger is reluctant to sit down but does so at Joanna’s insistence.
Tacy MacKegger: Appreciate dat, Joanna. So, um, dis is like, my first date in a quite awhile and my first blind date ever. Considerin’ I’m a guest in your home, what do you suggest we do as an activity?
Joanna reaches over and runs a hand through Tacy’s hair. The gambler flashes a sincere smile and points to the table, and the deck of cards.
Gambler Joanna: Same thing I always do.
Tacy MacKegger: Even dough I bounced at a bar called Da Drunken Turnbuckle, I’m a bit of a poker virgin.
Gambler Joanna: What about Blackjack, hmm?
Tacy MacKegger: Seems like a simple enough game. Sure. But I’d say you should deal ‘cause I tend to have butter fingers at times.
Joanna stands to her feet and leaves the room for a few moments. When she returns she is carry two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. Placing these upon the table, Joanna pours the wine into the glasses and opens the deck of cards. With one hand, Joanna shuffles the cards like a true pro. If someone wasn’t used to seeing this specticle, it might be quite astounding. After that, Joanna holds the deck out to Tacy.
Gambler Joanna: Split the deck, dear.
MacKegger splits the deck and subconsciously blushes as she’s not been called dear in all her 32 years. Joanna takes the deck and passes two cards to Tacy, then two for herself. Tacy, if she glanced at her deck, would see a ten of hearts and an eight of clubs. Joanna smirks when she sees her cards, seemingly pleased with what she’s been dealt.
Tacy MacKegger: I’m goin’ to say like dey do on television and say “Stay.”
Gambler Joanna: Sure about that, beautiful? Sometimes you have to play close to the chest.
Tacy MacKegger: Feelin’ pretty ample card-wise and chest-wise. Beautiful?
Gambler Joanna: Hm. If I’m honest, I see people differently. I see people like the trophies I win in my tournaments. Some have more value, some are more beautiful, some are unique in other ways. I deem you beautiful.
Joanna takes a card from the top of the deck. Tacy tries not to show any emotion that would indicate what she has. The card is revealed to be a one. Joanna turns her cards over to reveal two tens (heart and club), and a one (spade). MacKegger reveals her hand to be eighteen. She blurts something out subconsciously.
Tacy MacKegger: Twenty-one beats eighteen. Good din’ we weren’t bettin’. I’d most likely have lost my polo shirt right now.
Joanna glances over at Tacy’s chest with Tacy’s comment, clearly checking her out. The Deputy isn’t sure what to do in this situation because such circumstances never presented themselves before. After a few seconds Joanna laughs and reaches up, giving Tacy a pinch on her left cheek.
Gambler Joanna: You’re blushing.
Tacy MacKegger: Am not. You’re blushin’.
Gambler Joanna: Even if I was, you wouldn’t know. Poker face.
Tacy MacKegger: Interrogation instincts count for some-din’, too, y’know. You’re not da first card player I’ve met...just da first who hadn’t broken da law.
Gambler Joanna: Wouldn’t think of it, really. Besides, there are states where what I do is already illegal.
Joanna shrugs.
Gambler Joanna: Maybe not the first, but the most successful. I can almost promise that. My winnings purchased this and another house, the cars outside, and everything inside. In my life, I’ve only had one normal job.
Tacy MacKegger: You are da most successful, Joanna. No diggity and no doubt. Must be online poker? You had a “normal” job? Could you please define normal.
Gambler Joanna: For someone with such a defined accent and vernacular, you come off so robotic. So.. Hm. Tense. Yes, I had a normal job. Once. About oh… Ten years ago. Before I changed my name. I was a clerk.
Tacy MacKegger: Sorry. I’m nervous ‘cause as I stated earlier...dis is my first blind date and first date wid a woman. Dated some jackanapes back in Phloriphornia who was my cousin’s oder tag-team member. “Da Din’ of Din’s” Taggart Tagatito. Nice guy but we just didn’t really connect. At da time, neider of us knew why.
Joanna gives it a thought and takes a sip of her wine. The gambler reaches over to grab Tacy’s cards, but on the way back gently passes the back of her hand over Tacy’s cheek.
Gambler Joanna: I can think of a few possible reasons.
Tacy MacKegger: Should probably be takin’ a sip from my glass as well. Feelin’ a bit parched. Dat felt nice. Let’s see what I have for a hand dis time…what might you say is at least one reason, Joanna?
Joanna shrugs and stops shuffling for a moment.
Gambler Joanna: That relationship was probably a bluff. You might not have known it at the time. Well, that is to say, I liken it to a bluff. You’re bluffing society. Do you understand?
Tacy MacKegger: Not fully, but my cousins Slamsley, Bonnie, and Azurine all seem to believe I’m in some sort of closet or some-din’ ’cause of how I compliment female competitors.
Gambler Joanna: Well, do you want to know the truth? Do you really want to find out if you are?
Tacy MacKegger: Imagined I’d find out in da rin’ first, but den I found out not many found me attractive or liked my insights.
Gambler Joanna: Well for starters, I wouldn’t date a co-woker. But, I’m not good for advice. I’ve only had one real job. I can tell you, I didn’t know I liked women until well into my twenties. I had dated a man for four years, that’s how I survived while working as a clerk.
Tacy MacKegger: He was your financial support. Dat wouldn’t have happened where I was from. Den again, you eider worked for da local wrestlin’ promotion Groves Valley Grapplin’ ran by my uncle Poppa Slams, Da Drunken Turnbuckle, da police department, Nordern or Soudern Phloriphornia University, or da orange groves.
Gambler Joanna: Well of course, considering where you came from. I was in New York after traveling from my home state. I had always dated men. True, this guy was my financial support, but at the time I really believed I loved him and would marry him. But one day, it just wasn’t the same. I don’t know. I can’t really describe it.
Joanna looks down, swirling her glass.
Gambler Joanna: Then one night he left. He had enough of the distance that had been created. Left me high and dry. I had maybe three hundred dollars to my name. But, the reservations in New York all have legal gambling. So, I met with a handler. A woman who I eventually slept with. She booked my card games legally, and over time led me towards financial freedom. Things just progressed naturally with her. After a few years, we were full on dating.
Joanna sighs and takes another sip from her glass.
Gambler Joanna: She left. She wanted to stay in New York, I wanted to tour the world and win as many big tournaments as possible. I really had no more need for a handler, either. I kept her around because she was my girlfriend. Still, when she left, I focused on playing. Only on playing. That was maybe five years ago, I think? I haven’t dated since.
Tacy does her best to sip politely before responding.
Tacy MacKegger: Dat was very brave of you to share, Joanna. Should we play a second hand? Maybe add some stakes or a friendly wager? Not sure why I said dat. We just met. You do appear friendly towards me, dough…
MacKegger’s train of thought momentarily stalls while gently gazing into Joanna’s eyes. She then looks downward briefly while taking another lengthy sip of red wine. Tacy is unsure how this next hand will play out, but she’s feeling more optimistic. The temperature inside the living room increases and MacKegger subconsciously undoes the top button of her polo shirt. Wearing all black on a Summer day might not have been the wisest decision. Joanna slide two cards to Tacy and takes two for herself. Tacy manages an ace and a one, of all things. MacKegger taps two fingers on the table to indicate she wants another card.
Tacy MacKegger: Picked up some din’s while playin’ wid a partner on long stakeouts. Even still, no temptation tension whatsoever. Also, you didn’t answer wheder we should have any stakes durin’ dis hand, Joanna...
Joanna glances at her cards, then at Tacy.
Gambler Joanna: Well, I could think of something. Do you like the house?
Joanna taps on the table with her knuckles and takes a card.
Tacy MacKegger: It’s a lot nicer on da inside when on da outside. Or maybe I walked onto da wrong front lawn at first and managed to knock on your door soon after.
Gambler Joanna: Good. Then I’ll bet you this. If I win this hand, you stay here with me for a week.
Tacy MacKegger: And while it’s wildly outside da realm of possibility, what happens if I win?
Joanna taps her chin in thought.
Gambler Joanna: I already have another, larger house. If you win, I’ll give you the deed.
Tacy MacKegger: Guess I don’t really have much to lose. You’re on. Also, did you get anoder card before I did? ‘Cause I did da signal for anoder card first. Or is dis House Rules where da dealer gets it first? Only played so many hands of poker...
Joanna just shrugs and slides a card to Tacy. It’s another one.
Gamble Joanna: Ask and you shall receive.
MacKegger performs the same “hit” signal with her right index and middle fingers to request another card.
Tacy MacKegger: Heard some-din’ called a Five-Card Charlie where if I get five cards and don’t bust, den I could potentially win da hand?
Gambler Joanna: You could, in theory. Or you could bust and end up stuck here for a week.
Joanna smirks and takes a sip of her wine.
Tacy MacKegger: Still requestin’ dat ford card, please, Joanna. Very low hand at da moment.
Joanna passes the card. It’s a four, putting Tacy at a total of seventeen or seven, thanks to the ace. Tacy can still easily win this, but only if Joanna isn’t holding twenty one in her hand. If so, house still wins. Joanna doesn’t take a card, instead sticking with the three she already has. MacKegger tempts fate by tapping one more time to get her fifth card when Joanna reveals her hand prematurely. It’s twenty. The card Tacy pulled? A ten. She would then have no choice but to go with eighteen, or hit.
Tacy MacKegger: Guess my deo-ry went right out da window. Lookin’ at eighteen right now to your twenty.
Gambler Joanna: Go ahead and hit. If you can’t change the outcome of a game, it’s best to go for bust. Don’t give your opponent the pleasure of beating you, beat yourself.
MacKegger does the “hit” signal one more time while subconsciously blurting out a Freudian slip.
Tacy MacKegger: All your talk ’bout trophies and now I almost feel like I might be your next to be mounted.
Gambler Joanna: Dual meaning? Hm. Perhaps, dear, but first we have to work on getting you comfortable with yourself. In any event, I assume you busted. Let me guess, another ten? I have one, you have one. Logic says, that’s probably a ten.
MacKegger nods and sits herself back onto the sofa, thoroughly defeated. She does her best to remain resolute but it’s clear Joanna has her number today. Joanna places her cards down upon the table and turns to Tacy. The gambler flashes a smile and places a hand on the top of Tacy’s head, gently petting her.
Gambler Joanna: This is going to be… Interesting. Don’t worry about it, Tacy. Tonight, I’ll tell you my whole story. Even my real name. Let’s take this slow.
The usually dominant Tacy nods her head, gazes gently into Joanna’s eyes and feels a second polo button being undone to reveal two orange bra straps.
Gambler Joanna: Oranges.
MacKegger blushes without knowing it when hearing the one-word response. The sun begins setting as Tacy feels a hand on her cheek, a hand on her left thigh, and Joanna’s lips slowly pressed against hers. Tacy conconsciously nods her approach and reciprocates the gesture.
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Time elapses a few days since Deputy Tacy MacKegger has lost track of time. She appears docile but unlike her cousins is not wearing a neck collar. Instead, for the past few days she’s been given the Pavlovian treatment of routinely answering whenever a bell is rung. Her apparel seems to have drastically changed as she wears a large coconut bra, orange bikini briefs, and an orange sarong. She also seems to be barefoot as her socks were tossed in a hamper and her boots were placed in a trophy case near the front door. MacKegger does feel more comfortable with herself. Tacy isn’t quite as repressed, restrained, or regimented as she portrays herself on television or in real life prior to meeting Gambler Joanna. Upon hearing a bell ring once more, Ms. MacKegger walks towards Joanna’s location. The slighty-older woman begins to explain what the two will have planned tonight.
Gambler Joanna: That’s the delivery. It’s a package for you. A long gown. We’re going to a club tonight, a real underground type of thing. They gamble there, but I’m not worried about that. We’re going for the underground fighting. I plan on making a few bets and showing you off to the girls at the bar.
Tacy MacKegger opens the front door, grabs the package, slips into the form-flattering black gown, and smiles.
Tacy MacKegger: Really do appreciate dis, Joanna, I mean…
Gambler Joanna: Rachel was my name, before I changed it to escape my past and start over. Old name, never really meant much to me.
Tacy MacKegger: Den I’ll just call you, Joanna. Do you have footwear for me to wear? Who’s fightin’ tonight? And well, I’m still amazed you feel I’m beautiful enough to show off to your friends.
Joanna laughs and shakes her head.
Gambler Joanna: I don’t really have friends. Most of my “people” are other gamblers, rivals so to speak. I just like making them jealous. Yes, I have shoes in the bedroom. You can take the black heels.
Tacy MacKegger: Yes, Joanna. Know we’ve been in da same bed da past couple of nights, but I’m amazed how we’ve been able to repress our passions for so long.
MacKegger goes into the bedroom, slips on the black heels, and then holds onto Joanna’s dominant arm that is crooked outward.
Tacy MacKegger: I haven’t ever been someone’s arm candy before. Is dat da correct term, Joanna?
Gambler Joanna: If you want to use it. Hm. But I’m thinking, if you really like it here, just be my girl. Of course, house rules still apply. You’re still my trophy, at least for the next few days.
Tacy MacKegger: Still debatin’ dat point. Did win me fair and square...even if professionally, I’m feelin’ deyr’s a major gray area ’bout da whole arrangement. Am likin’ it here currently, dough.
The scene transitions with Gambler Joanna driving her favorite car with Tacy in the passenger seat. Less than twenty minutes later they arrive at the club where a valet takes the high-priced automobile. Joanna and MacKegger walk into the bowels of the building to find a somewhat rusted chain-link fenced cage, a bar, and a variety of patrons as well as potential fighters. Tacy tries to appear charming and presentable as Joanna introduces her to some gambling rivals. It’s mostly high class ladies, a few wealthy men, and those fighters who represent them.
Gambler Joanna: Ladies.
Seeing Tacy, a good portion of the women turn, essentially to check out the younger woman.
Gambler Joanna: This is Tacy, my date for the evening.
Tacy MacKegger waves at the various high-class ladies and wealthy men. She vaguely remember a house rule of only speaking to guests when given permission to.
Gambler Joanna: Who’s on the card tonight, ladies?
A woman in a suit quite like Joanna’s speaks up with a short laugh.
Woman: Not too many of the good fighters. It’s an off night. Bunch of rookies and newcomers.
Gambler Joanna: Will you be betting?
Woman: Not tonight, no. There’s not enough bets coming in to yield any real results.
MacKegger tries to maintain her smile but can sense Joanna is slightly disappointed by that response. Tacy eyes a kendo stick in the corner momentarily, but then looks lovingly at Joanna.
Gambler Joanna: Hm. What about the card tables?
Woman: That might get you more money. Sadly, I think even that will be slow going. Midweek just isn’t good for bets, Joanna.
Gambler Joanna: You say that but I’ve had large payoffs here every day of the week before.
Woman: Of course you have, Joanna. That’s why no one bets against you. Besides, you have that whole World Series of Poker stigma. No one wants to play cards with a champion who’s also a math wiz. That’s just not smart.
Like a puppy looking at a bone, Tacy stares at the kendo stick again before returning her gaze back to Joanna. Joanna finally realizes what her date was looking at, then gives Tacy a surprised look.
Gambler Joanna: Tacy, I know you want to make me happy but do you really think…
MacKegger nods and does a series of hand signals to indicate “I love being your trophy.”
Gambler Joanna: While that’s true, I don’t want you to spend the next few days in bed, beaten up. I want you to grow with me, but this… Hmm. You can speak, Tacy.
Tacy MacKegger: I want to make you happy, Joanna, and maybe if you get a large payoff tonight, den maybe you can be da first to…
Joanna puts a finger over Tacy’s lips. She takes Tacy’s hand and leads her to the side of the bar, away from prying eyes. Once there, Joanna would push Tacy against the wall and press her lips to her date’s. Time would feel as though it was going very very slowly as they kissed, away from the eyes of Joanna’s rivals.
Gambler Joanna: My fear is loss. I’ve never held a relationship. I am stern, I make rules. If I win you in a card game, you’re mine. But never would I desire to see a possible lover in pain. You tempt me, though. If I am to be the first, I would rather be the only.
Tacy MacKegger: You’re a bettin’ woman. You make da bet on wheder I win or lose. If you win, we forget ’bout da week, I’m yours and you become my only. If you lose, den I leave after dis week and don’t get schtupped.
Joanna pauses to consider. Regardless of the situation, she really has no choice if she wants Tacy to remain a part of her life. She relents, with a heavy sigh and a worried, look. The look fades quite quickly and is replaced with one of determination. Her poker face.
Gambler Joanna: Fine. We have to go around the back. That’s the locker room. I’ll sign you up and make the bet. Just be careful, while these are all rookies, they aren’t wrestlers. They’re fighters and there’s very few rules here.
Tacy MacKegger: Don’t tell ‘em, but I’ve been trainin’ wid a kendo stick since I was seventeen. Probably anoder reason why dose island boys didn’t want to bed me. Also, I have years of close quarters combat trainin’...again, don’t tell da sign-up person dat. And finally, unlike some of my relatives, I don’t grapple clean...I prefer to fight dirty.
Gambler Joanna: They’ll probably put you in a small series of matches. Two or three at most. You’ll be fighting fresh fighters each round. If you get disarmed, go for a take down. If you can draw the fight out, it’ll go to points and take downs are worth the most points. Avoid lock ups, there’s fouls for excessive grappling. You can throw, you can toss, but if you perform a wrestling move, you get a foul. Two fouls and you’re out.
Tacy MacKegger: Got it. Do press slams and suplexes count as drows or wrestlin’ moves? Doesn’t matter.
The two enter through the back of the bar, into what appears to be a booking area and locker room. Joanna motions for Tacy to make her way to the locker room.
Gambler Joanna: I’ll have them provide you with gear. Black, like the dress.
Then Joanna breaks off and makes her way to the office.
Tacy MacKegger arrives into the cage armed with a kendo stick and sporting a black sports bra, 4-ounce gloves, Vale Tudo shorts, and boots. Joanna watches as “fight fans,” i.e. interested betters crowd around the cage. Tacy takes her eyes off her first opponent momentarily and gets slammed hard into the fencing. This other woman attempts to disarm MacKegger by smacking her viciously with kendo stick strikes. The opponent connects with a flurry of five strikes before MacKegger stumbles up and knocks her down with a Spinebuster. The two fighters then proceed to wail on each other’s arms with kendo stick shots. Eventually, MacKegger gets the better of the exchange and scores a second single-leg takedown. Round 1 is scored to Tacy who advances in this daunting three-round gauntlet.
Round 2 proves a bit more challenging as MacKegger is forced to keep pace with takedowns. Tacy keeps trying for Double Legs while her opponent keeps scoring on Single Leg. Eventually, after scoring six takedowns, MacKegger shoves her opponent into the fencing. With time running out, Tacy traps her adversary’s arms into the fencing before wailing mercilessly with both kendo sticks. Time expires and the winner is chosen via points. In a bit of controversy, Tacy survives to the third fight due to “excessive aggressiveness.”
Entering Round 3, Ms. MacKegger has not been fouled once but this next opponent tests that ability. Neither combatant scores a takedown until Tacy gets desperate again. After a flurry of kendo stick strikes and elbows, she throws down her foreign object. Betters decide to increase betting odds 10:1 for Tacy. When hearing this vaguely, MacKegger knees the third rival in her skull, places the poor fighter between her legs, and executes a pulverizing Powerbomb. It’s her lone foul in the three-round skirmish but the third opponent is completely knocked out. Upon exiting the cage, Tacy looks over to Gambler Joanna and asks a simple question.
Tacy MacKegger: Are we goin’ to bed tonight?
Joanna doesn't speak. Instead she opens her arms, welcoming Tacy to use her for support. Her lips touch the sweat covered forehead of Tacy, but she does not turn away, nor does she show disgust at the taste of sweat. Then, she finally speaks in a soft tone meant only for Tacy.
Gambler Joanna: Of course. You earned it, babe.
Tacy’s First Blind Date
A blonde-haired mesomorph clad in a black polo, black fingerless gloves, black slacks, and black combat boots marches towards an address she’s unfamiliar with. She, Deputy Tacy MacKegger, received a tip to meet a potential partner at this particular precinct. Wasn’t an actual police precinct. Wasn’t much of an actual building. Looked semi-abandoned but clearly maintained as to not cause random people to flee immediately. Sighing heavily and hoping her matchmaker Princess Sammy 3.0 didn’t steer her wrong, Tacy rings the doorbell while clutching a kendo stick with her non-shaking hand.
A woman of about thirty five years of age answers the door. Her hair is a deep auburn, her eyes green like jade. She’s dressed in a woman’s pants suit, black with grey pinstripes. Around her neck, a gold chain bearing the symbol of the Ace, highest card in a deck. She moves with grace, her actions bearing no hesitation. Indeed, this woman is a gambler. In fact, a top ranked poker player in the United States. She smells of oranges. Upon closer inspection, she has an orange in her left hand. The gambler rubs the orange upon her suit, causing even more of the auroma to cover her body.
Tacy seems drawn to this woman but isn’t exactly sure why. She confidently introduces herself extending her dominant hand forward.
Tacy MacKegger: Deputy Tacy MacKegger, ma’am. Are you da partner Sammy told me to meet tonight?
“Gambler”: Well, aren’t you just a treat? My name is Joanna, that’s it. Legally. They call me Gambler Joanna, since not having a last name makes it hard to distinguish from other gamblers.
Tacy MacKegger: Would you have any identification to verify dat, Joanna?
The woman laughs and opens the door wide. Right by the door, upon the wall, is a huge poster like you would see in a movie theatre. Upon the poster is Joanna. Her name is written on top of the poster in bold, white font. Gambler Joanna, just as she said. What’s most striking is what is printed on the bottom of the poster.
World Series of Poker Winner, 2017.
Gambler Joanna: I assume you have a cell phone? Google me.
Tacy MacKegger pulls out her Phoneme Whippersnapper and Googles “Gambler Joanna.” Sure enough various results pop up indicating a 35-year-old winner of last year’s WSOP went by that particular moniker. There’s even a photo of this particular woman seated and clutching her prize winnings.
Tacy MacKegger: Checks out.
Gambler Joanna: Did you see my trophy? It’s a nice trophy.
Joanna slowly backs into the doorway and gives Tacy an inviting gesture, an invitation to enter into her home. Inside it’s clear Joanna has made quite the living from gambling. Her home is pristine, the walls covered in framed posters of her career and various newspaper clippings. The furniture in the house is, surprisingly, real wood. Again, as Tacy explored, she would smell the fragrance of Oranges. Eventually Joanna leads Tacy into the living room. Within the living room, an unlit fireplace, an oak table with a deck of cards upon it, a leather couch, big screen TV, and even more posters and newspaper clippings. Joanna seems quite proud of her career.
Tacy MacKegger: Feels very much like back home. Not New Tazewell, Tennessee, but home in Phloriphornia. It’s a remote island nation in da middle of da Pacific Ocean dat primarily exported oranges, orange juice, bananas, and steel chairs.
Gambler Joanna: Must be the oranges. Did you notice them around the house? They’re my good luck charm. I keep one with me at all times. I believe that little boost of luck led me to my biggest win last year.
Tacy MacKegger: Da Vitamin C could have also vitalized certain bodily functions as well, but I’m happy you believe in luck. I myself am not dat lucky.
Joanna would motion to the couch, suggesting the two take a seat. MacKegger is reluctant to sit down but does so at Joanna’s insistence.
Tacy MacKegger: Appreciate dat, Joanna. So, um, dis is like, my first date in a quite awhile and my first blind date ever. Considerin’ I’m a guest in your home, what do you suggest we do as an activity?
Joanna reaches over and runs a hand through Tacy’s hair. The gambler flashes a sincere smile and points to the table, and the deck of cards.
Gambler Joanna: Same thing I always do.
Tacy MacKegger: Even dough I bounced at a bar called Da Drunken Turnbuckle, I’m a bit of a poker virgin.
Gambler Joanna: What about Blackjack, hmm?
Tacy MacKegger: Seems like a simple enough game. Sure. But I’d say you should deal ‘cause I tend to have butter fingers at times.
Joanna stands to her feet and leaves the room for a few moments. When she returns she is carry two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. Placing these upon the table, Joanna pours the wine into the glasses and opens the deck of cards. With one hand, Joanna shuffles the cards like a true pro. If someone wasn’t used to seeing this specticle, it might be quite astounding. After that, Joanna holds the deck out to Tacy.
Gambler Joanna: Split the deck, dear.
MacKegger splits the deck and subconsciously blushes as she’s not been called dear in all her 32 years. Joanna takes the deck and passes two cards to Tacy, then two for herself. Tacy, if she glanced at her deck, would see a ten of hearts and an eight of clubs. Joanna smirks when she sees her cards, seemingly pleased with what she’s been dealt.
Tacy MacKegger: I’m goin’ to say like dey do on television and say “Stay.”
Gambler Joanna: Sure about that, beautiful? Sometimes you have to play close to the chest.
Tacy MacKegger: Feelin’ pretty ample card-wise and chest-wise. Beautiful?
Gambler Joanna: Hm. If I’m honest, I see people differently. I see people like the trophies I win in my tournaments. Some have more value, some are more beautiful, some are unique in other ways. I deem you beautiful.
Joanna takes a card from the top of the deck. Tacy tries not to show any emotion that would indicate what she has. The card is revealed to be a one. Joanna turns her cards over to reveal two tens (heart and club), and a one (spade). MacKegger reveals her hand to be eighteen. She blurts something out subconsciously.
Tacy MacKegger: Twenty-one beats eighteen. Good din’ we weren’t bettin’. I’d most likely have lost my polo shirt right now.
Joanna glances over at Tacy’s chest with Tacy’s comment, clearly checking her out. The Deputy isn’t sure what to do in this situation because such circumstances never presented themselves before. After a few seconds Joanna laughs and reaches up, giving Tacy a pinch on her left cheek.
Gambler Joanna: You’re blushing.
Tacy MacKegger: Am not. You’re blushin’.
Gambler Joanna: Even if I was, you wouldn’t know. Poker face.
Tacy MacKegger: Interrogation instincts count for some-din’, too, y’know. You’re not da first card player I’ve met...just da first who hadn’t broken da law.
Gambler Joanna: Wouldn’t think of it, really. Besides, there are states where what I do is already illegal.
Joanna shrugs.
Gambler Joanna: Maybe not the first, but the most successful. I can almost promise that. My winnings purchased this and another house, the cars outside, and everything inside. In my life, I’ve only had one normal job.
Tacy MacKegger: You are da most successful, Joanna. No diggity and no doubt. Must be online poker? You had a “normal” job? Could you please define normal.
Gambler Joanna: For someone with such a defined accent and vernacular, you come off so robotic. So.. Hm. Tense. Yes, I had a normal job. Once. About oh… Ten years ago. Before I changed my name. I was a clerk.
Tacy MacKegger: Sorry. I’m nervous ‘cause as I stated earlier...dis is my first blind date and first date wid a woman. Dated some jackanapes back in Phloriphornia who was my cousin’s oder tag-team member. “Da Din’ of Din’s” Taggart Tagatito. Nice guy but we just didn’t really connect. At da time, neider of us knew why.
Joanna gives it a thought and takes a sip of her wine. The gambler reaches over to grab Tacy’s cards, but on the way back gently passes the back of her hand over Tacy’s cheek.
Gambler Joanna: I can think of a few possible reasons.
Tacy MacKegger: Should probably be takin’ a sip from my glass as well. Feelin’ a bit parched. Dat felt nice. Let’s see what I have for a hand dis time…what might you say is at least one reason, Joanna?
Joanna shrugs and stops shuffling for a moment.
Gambler Joanna: That relationship was probably a bluff. You might not have known it at the time. Well, that is to say, I liken it to a bluff. You’re bluffing society. Do you understand?
Tacy MacKegger: Not fully, but my cousins Slamsley, Bonnie, and Azurine all seem to believe I’m in some sort of closet or some-din’ ’cause of how I compliment female competitors.
Gambler Joanna: Well, do you want to know the truth? Do you really want to find out if you are?
Tacy MacKegger: Imagined I’d find out in da rin’ first, but den I found out not many found me attractive or liked my insights.
Gambler Joanna: Well for starters, I wouldn’t date a co-woker. But, I’m not good for advice. I’ve only had one real job. I can tell you, I didn’t know I liked women until well into my twenties. I had dated a man for four years, that’s how I survived while working as a clerk.
Tacy MacKegger: He was your financial support. Dat wouldn’t have happened where I was from. Den again, you eider worked for da local wrestlin’ promotion Groves Valley Grapplin’ ran by my uncle Poppa Slams, Da Drunken Turnbuckle, da police department, Nordern or Soudern Phloriphornia University, or da orange groves.
Gambler Joanna: Well of course, considering where you came from. I was in New York after traveling from my home state. I had always dated men. True, this guy was my financial support, but at the time I really believed I loved him and would marry him. But one day, it just wasn’t the same. I don’t know. I can’t really describe it.
Joanna looks down, swirling her glass.
Gambler Joanna: Then one night he left. He had enough of the distance that had been created. Left me high and dry. I had maybe three hundred dollars to my name. But, the reservations in New York all have legal gambling. So, I met with a handler. A woman who I eventually slept with. She booked my card games legally, and over time led me towards financial freedom. Things just progressed naturally with her. After a few years, we were full on dating.
Joanna sighs and takes another sip from her glass.
Gambler Joanna: She left. She wanted to stay in New York, I wanted to tour the world and win as many big tournaments as possible. I really had no more need for a handler, either. I kept her around because she was my girlfriend. Still, when she left, I focused on playing. Only on playing. That was maybe five years ago, I think? I haven’t dated since.
Tacy does her best to sip politely before responding.
Tacy MacKegger: Dat was very brave of you to share, Joanna. Should we play a second hand? Maybe add some stakes or a friendly wager? Not sure why I said dat. We just met. You do appear friendly towards me, dough…
MacKegger’s train of thought momentarily stalls while gently gazing into Joanna’s eyes. She then looks downward briefly while taking another lengthy sip of red wine. Tacy is unsure how this next hand will play out, but she’s feeling more optimistic. The temperature inside the living room increases and MacKegger subconsciously undoes the top button of her polo shirt. Wearing all black on a Summer day might not have been the wisest decision. Joanna slide two cards to Tacy and takes two for herself. Tacy manages an ace and a one, of all things. MacKegger taps two fingers on the table to indicate she wants another card.
Tacy MacKegger: Picked up some din’s while playin’ wid a partner on long stakeouts. Even still, no temptation tension whatsoever. Also, you didn’t answer wheder we should have any stakes durin’ dis hand, Joanna...
Joanna glances at her cards, then at Tacy.
Gambler Joanna: Well, I could think of something. Do you like the house?
Joanna taps on the table with her knuckles and takes a card.
Tacy MacKegger: It’s a lot nicer on da inside when on da outside. Or maybe I walked onto da wrong front lawn at first and managed to knock on your door soon after.
Gambler Joanna: Good. Then I’ll bet you this. If I win this hand, you stay here with me for a week.
Tacy MacKegger: And while it’s wildly outside da realm of possibility, what happens if I win?
Joanna taps her chin in thought.
Gambler Joanna: I already have another, larger house. If you win, I’ll give you the deed.
Tacy MacKegger: Guess I don’t really have much to lose. You’re on. Also, did you get anoder card before I did? ‘Cause I did da signal for anoder card first. Or is dis House Rules where da dealer gets it first? Only played so many hands of poker...
Joanna just shrugs and slides a card to Tacy. It’s another one.
Gamble Joanna: Ask and you shall receive.
MacKegger performs the same “hit” signal with her right index and middle fingers to request another card.
Tacy MacKegger: Heard some-din’ called a Five-Card Charlie where if I get five cards and don’t bust, den I could potentially win da hand?
Gambler Joanna: You could, in theory. Or you could bust and end up stuck here for a week.
Joanna smirks and takes a sip of her wine.
Tacy MacKegger: Still requestin’ dat ford card, please, Joanna. Very low hand at da moment.
Joanna passes the card. It’s a four, putting Tacy at a total of seventeen or seven, thanks to the ace. Tacy can still easily win this, but only if Joanna isn’t holding twenty one in her hand. If so, house still wins. Joanna doesn’t take a card, instead sticking with the three she already has. MacKegger tempts fate by tapping one more time to get her fifth card when Joanna reveals her hand prematurely. It’s twenty. The card Tacy pulled? A ten. She would then have no choice but to go with eighteen, or hit.
Tacy MacKegger: Guess my deo-ry went right out da window. Lookin’ at eighteen right now to your twenty.
Gambler Joanna: Go ahead and hit. If you can’t change the outcome of a game, it’s best to go for bust. Don’t give your opponent the pleasure of beating you, beat yourself.
MacKegger does the “hit” signal one more time while subconsciously blurting out a Freudian slip.
Tacy MacKegger: All your talk ’bout trophies and now I almost feel like I might be your next to be mounted.
Gambler Joanna: Dual meaning? Hm. Perhaps, dear, but first we have to work on getting you comfortable with yourself. In any event, I assume you busted. Let me guess, another ten? I have one, you have one. Logic says, that’s probably a ten.
MacKegger nods and sits herself back onto the sofa, thoroughly defeated. She does her best to remain resolute but it’s clear Joanna has her number today. Joanna places her cards down upon the table and turns to Tacy. The gambler flashes a smile and places a hand on the top of Tacy’s head, gently petting her.
Gambler Joanna: This is going to be… Interesting. Don’t worry about it, Tacy. Tonight, I’ll tell you my whole story. Even my real name. Let’s take this slow.
The usually dominant Tacy nods her head, gazes gently into Joanna’s eyes and feels a second polo button being undone to reveal two orange bra straps.
Gambler Joanna: Oranges.
MacKegger blushes without knowing it when hearing the one-word response. The sun begins setting as Tacy feels a hand on her cheek, a hand on her left thigh, and Joanna’s lips slowly pressed against hers. Tacy conconsciously nods her approach and reciprocates the gesture.
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Time elapses a few days since Deputy Tacy MacKegger has lost track of time. She appears docile but unlike her cousins is not wearing a neck collar. Instead, for the past few days she’s been given the Pavlovian treatment of routinely answering whenever a bell is rung. Her apparel seems to have drastically changed as she wears a large coconut bra, orange bikini briefs, and an orange sarong. She also seems to be barefoot as her socks were tossed in a hamper and her boots were placed in a trophy case near the front door. MacKegger does feel more comfortable with herself. Tacy isn’t quite as repressed, restrained, or regimented as she portrays herself on television or in real life prior to meeting Gambler Joanna. Upon hearing a bell ring once more, Ms. MacKegger walks towards Joanna’s location. The slighty-older woman begins to explain what the two will have planned tonight.
Gambler Joanna: That’s the delivery. It’s a package for you. A long gown. We’re going to a club tonight, a real underground type of thing. They gamble there, but I’m not worried about that. We’re going for the underground fighting. I plan on making a few bets and showing you off to the girls at the bar.
Tacy MacKegger opens the front door, grabs the package, slips into the form-flattering black gown, and smiles.
Tacy MacKegger: Really do appreciate dis, Joanna, I mean…
Gambler Joanna: Rachel was my name, before I changed it to escape my past and start over. Old name, never really meant much to me.
Tacy MacKegger: Den I’ll just call you, Joanna. Do you have footwear for me to wear? Who’s fightin’ tonight? And well, I’m still amazed you feel I’m beautiful enough to show off to your friends.
Joanna laughs and shakes her head.
Gambler Joanna: I don’t really have friends. Most of my “people” are other gamblers, rivals so to speak. I just like making them jealous. Yes, I have shoes in the bedroom. You can take the black heels.
Tacy MacKegger: Yes, Joanna. Know we’ve been in da same bed da past couple of nights, but I’m amazed how we’ve been able to repress our passions for so long.
MacKegger goes into the bedroom, slips on the black heels, and then holds onto Joanna’s dominant arm that is crooked outward.
Tacy MacKegger: I haven’t ever been someone’s arm candy before. Is dat da correct term, Joanna?
Gambler Joanna: If you want to use it. Hm. But I’m thinking, if you really like it here, just be my girl. Of course, house rules still apply. You’re still my trophy, at least for the next few days.
Tacy MacKegger: Still debatin’ dat point. Did win me fair and square...even if professionally, I’m feelin’ deyr’s a major gray area ’bout da whole arrangement. Am likin’ it here currently, dough.
The scene transitions with Gambler Joanna driving her favorite car with Tacy in the passenger seat. Less than twenty minutes later they arrive at the club where a valet takes the high-priced automobile. Joanna and MacKegger walk into the bowels of the building to find a somewhat rusted chain-link fenced cage, a bar, and a variety of patrons as well as potential fighters. Tacy tries to appear charming and presentable as Joanna introduces her to some gambling rivals. It’s mostly high class ladies, a few wealthy men, and those fighters who represent them.
Gambler Joanna: Ladies.
Seeing Tacy, a good portion of the women turn, essentially to check out the younger woman.
Gambler Joanna: This is Tacy, my date for the evening.
Tacy MacKegger waves at the various high-class ladies and wealthy men. She vaguely remember a house rule of only speaking to guests when given permission to.
Gambler Joanna: Who’s on the card tonight, ladies?
A woman in a suit quite like Joanna’s speaks up with a short laugh.
Woman: Not too many of the good fighters. It’s an off night. Bunch of rookies and newcomers.
Gambler Joanna: Will you be betting?
Woman: Not tonight, no. There’s not enough bets coming in to yield any real results.
MacKegger tries to maintain her smile but can sense Joanna is slightly disappointed by that response. Tacy eyes a kendo stick in the corner momentarily, but then looks lovingly at Joanna.
Gambler Joanna: Hm. What about the card tables?
Woman: That might get you more money. Sadly, I think even that will be slow going. Midweek just isn’t good for bets, Joanna.
Gambler Joanna: You say that but I’ve had large payoffs here every day of the week before.
Woman: Of course you have, Joanna. That’s why no one bets against you. Besides, you have that whole World Series of Poker stigma. No one wants to play cards with a champion who’s also a math wiz. That’s just not smart.
Like a puppy looking at a bone, Tacy stares at the kendo stick again before returning her gaze back to Joanna. Joanna finally realizes what her date was looking at, then gives Tacy a surprised look.
Gambler Joanna: Tacy, I know you want to make me happy but do you really think…
MacKegger nods and does a series of hand signals to indicate “I love being your trophy.”
Gambler Joanna: While that’s true, I don’t want you to spend the next few days in bed, beaten up. I want you to grow with me, but this… Hmm. You can speak, Tacy.
Tacy MacKegger: I want to make you happy, Joanna, and maybe if you get a large payoff tonight, den maybe you can be da first to…
Joanna puts a finger over Tacy’s lips. She takes Tacy’s hand and leads her to the side of the bar, away from prying eyes. Once there, Joanna would push Tacy against the wall and press her lips to her date’s. Time would feel as though it was going very very slowly as they kissed, away from the eyes of Joanna’s rivals.
Gambler Joanna: My fear is loss. I’ve never held a relationship. I am stern, I make rules. If I win you in a card game, you’re mine. But never would I desire to see a possible lover in pain. You tempt me, though. If I am to be the first, I would rather be the only.
Tacy MacKegger: You’re a bettin’ woman. You make da bet on wheder I win or lose. If you win, we forget ’bout da week, I’m yours and you become my only. If you lose, den I leave after dis week and don’t get schtupped.
Joanna pauses to consider. Regardless of the situation, she really has no choice if she wants Tacy to remain a part of her life. She relents, with a heavy sigh and a worried, look. The look fades quite quickly and is replaced with one of determination. Her poker face.
Gambler Joanna: Fine. We have to go around the back. That’s the locker room. I’ll sign you up and make the bet. Just be careful, while these are all rookies, they aren’t wrestlers. They’re fighters and there’s very few rules here.
Tacy MacKegger: Don’t tell ‘em, but I’ve been trainin’ wid a kendo stick since I was seventeen. Probably anoder reason why dose island boys didn’t want to bed me. Also, I have years of close quarters combat trainin’...again, don’t tell da sign-up person dat. And finally, unlike some of my relatives, I don’t grapple clean...I prefer to fight dirty.
Gambler Joanna: They’ll probably put you in a small series of matches. Two or three at most. You’ll be fighting fresh fighters each round. If you get disarmed, go for a take down. If you can draw the fight out, it’ll go to points and take downs are worth the most points. Avoid lock ups, there’s fouls for excessive grappling. You can throw, you can toss, but if you perform a wrestling move, you get a foul. Two fouls and you’re out.
Tacy MacKegger: Got it. Do press slams and suplexes count as drows or wrestlin’ moves? Doesn’t matter.
The two enter through the back of the bar, into what appears to be a booking area and locker room. Joanna motions for Tacy to make her way to the locker room.
Gambler Joanna: I’ll have them provide you with gear. Black, like the dress.
Then Joanna breaks off and makes her way to the office.
Tacy MacKegger arrives into the cage armed with a kendo stick and sporting a black sports bra, 4-ounce gloves, Vale Tudo shorts, and boots. Joanna watches as “fight fans,” i.e. interested betters crowd around the cage. Tacy takes her eyes off her first opponent momentarily and gets slammed hard into the fencing. This other woman attempts to disarm MacKegger by smacking her viciously with kendo stick strikes. The opponent connects with a flurry of five strikes before MacKegger stumbles up and knocks her down with a Spinebuster. The two fighters then proceed to wail on each other’s arms with kendo stick shots. Eventually, MacKegger gets the better of the exchange and scores a second single-leg takedown. Round 1 is scored to Tacy who advances in this daunting three-round gauntlet.
Round 2 proves a bit more challenging as MacKegger is forced to keep pace with takedowns. Tacy keeps trying for Double Legs while her opponent keeps scoring on Single Leg. Eventually, after scoring six takedowns, MacKegger shoves her opponent into the fencing. With time running out, Tacy traps her adversary’s arms into the fencing before wailing mercilessly with both kendo sticks. Time expires and the winner is chosen via points. In a bit of controversy, Tacy survives to the third fight due to “excessive aggressiveness.”
Entering Round 3, Ms. MacKegger has not been fouled once but this next opponent tests that ability. Neither combatant scores a takedown until Tacy gets desperate again. After a flurry of kendo stick strikes and elbows, she throws down her foreign object. Betters decide to increase betting odds 10:1 for Tacy. When hearing this vaguely, MacKegger knees the third rival in her skull, places the poor fighter between her legs, and executes a pulverizing Powerbomb. It’s her lone foul in the three-round skirmish but the third opponent is completely knocked out. Upon exiting the cage, Tacy looks over to Gambler Joanna and asks a simple question.
Tacy MacKegger: Are we goin’ to bed tonight?
Joanna doesn't speak. Instead she opens her arms, welcoming Tacy to use her for support. Her lips touch the sweat covered forehead of Tacy, but she does not turn away, nor does she show disgust at the taste of sweat. Then, she finally speaks in a soft tone meant only for Tacy.
Gambler Joanna: Of course. You earned it, babe.